Donna Y. Orme-Collins is a former cult member who shares her experiences through poetry. The following poem expresses the intense feelings and emotions involved in being in a cult and growing up in one. [read more poems...]

Donna Y. Orme-Collins

OBLIGATION
Arizona - April 23, 1991

I cannot choose what path to take
no matter if there thorns await
the life they gave me is not mine
and they remind me all the time
of every fear I've ever held
of every tomorrow I cannot weld
For I must give to Gods unseen I must pray to paper green
my children that I haven't got must not be common lot
they shall walk taller than the rest
for these things I'm put to the test
The faith I once held so strong
I lost it to the mountain's song the love I sold so free
I'm cursed that it will never be
for saints and angels and ancestors I give my soul away
everything I am will not see the light of day
This heavy crown that I must wear
to each new hope it rips and tears
my name will be in history
I'll close the gate of mystery
to be so blessed with the blood of kings silences the voices that fate sings
and it takes their eyes and ears
emptiness can fill my years
There I'll wait beside your throne sacrificed to the unknown
whispers spreading through the crowd
unworthy
this is not allowed
Will there be your shadowed face to look down on this sad embrace
the eyes that once kept me alive now close forever to survive
this will be my last goodbye
my heart will know it's time to die

"Obligation" was written during my struggle to decide which path to take & the immense pressure I was under, especially due to my "special position" as such.