Flore Astid is a former cult member who grew up in a cult. She uses poetry and other forms of writing to explore both her resilience and her sufferings. [read more poems...]

Flore Astid

Fire walk with me

It seems to me, as I look upon
the weary footsteps
of time past
that I was meant
to walk a while alone.
The path I tread
leads further within
my very own self.
I listen to the voices,
I see the shadows
I smell the scent of fire
warming, shedding light.
The fire must be tended
by one who knows its ways,
it must be fed, nourished
and directed
or else it will simply
fade away.
My time has come
to watch the fire,
sit quietly, and learn its ways.
In solitude, I make place
for it to grow.
Feeding on its heat,
seeing by its light,
learning from the silence
of its flames.

I feel very strongly that although one can not change ones circumstances, one can always change ones attitude to them, this reflects what the existentialist call "intentionality" I think. In this manner difficult experiences and struggles can actually become teachers and allies (at least it keeps one from going insane and from being devoured by ones own anger and bitterness). Anyway, this has been one of my "strategies" for coping with the madness. I wrote this poem in one of those lonely moments, to comfort me and give me strength.